Dreams

Not last night, but the night before, I had the best dream. I was getting up to leave after what had apparently been a few hours of good fun and frolicking. Even in my dreams I seem to have been scarred by the behaviour of less than stellar men... and I was convinced it was better to leave voluntarily and prior to being asked... The thing is, I knew I liked the guy and it seemed that it probably wasn't the first encounter we'd had, but I didn't want to assume anything and think he liked me when he hadn't told me that as yet. No hard feelings, just a little self-preservation going on when, as I was getting dressed, this incredibly sexy, good-looking (but not so good looking that you'd think he was a model/gay) hunk of a man says to me: "Pleaae stay. I need you to stay." Yeah-that was a good dream...

K-couple of things....

1. I've worn nothing but black this week-something I haven't done in a while-which proves the theory that what you wear reflects your state of mind. However, tomorrow I am also wearing black-which is not a reflection of my mood-but is because I like black. Go figure that one out 2. I can't remember #2... Damn. 3. Saturday is move the furniture day-which happens every couple of months-which usually means I'm bored or I'm about to change something (like not wearing all black anymore...) or both. I will stop wearing black and I'm moving the couch to the window. Might be bad Feng Shui but it's the only arrangement left to be tried. My place is too small for much decorative creativity... 4. I tried to run tonight but my body said 'uhh, not really into this' then it made my shins hurt so I'd have to stop. Truth is the treadmill always seems to hurt my shins (what's up with that?) and being outdoors does seem to motivate me more ( I can't believe there really was a motivation level below where I'm at-but then I went on the treadmill today.... 5. I actually did hurt my ankle in my fall-it's swollen-but it didn't bother me at all running so that's jus a lame excuse...pun intended. (terrible humour-obviously I need to go to bed..) That's it. Just needed to have my piece.

Leaving Funky Town

A bunch of things have been going on that have tested my resolve to be a positive person and I've been on a slow descent into that big lake called self-pity... (oooh, I so love the drama!!)  What I didn't realise was that little spill I took on my way to work Tuesday was not just me getting gravel palm when hitting the cement, or me getting my pants wet when when falling in the puddle - it was me submerging myself into Self-Pity lake....(and yes, it does deserve capital letters)

It didn't help that it was my birthday yesterday and I'm another year older.  The phrase 'I've fallen and I can't get up' did actually flash in my brain.  As I nursed my sore ankle and badly bruised pride on the remaining walk to work, I started to wonder if this was a sign of what was ahead of me, with more injuries waiting..  At work, my cubicle neighbours and I mused about the potential that no one would notice me not showing up for days and unbeknownst to anyone, I could have fallen at home, broken my neck and was slowly being eaten by my cat.  I got them to promised to tell someone if they didn't see me for a number of days.

I mulled and sulked for the next 24 hours.  I even grumpily sulked that my only birthday plan was to go to my cousins house to eat with her toddlers....  When my next-door cubicle neighbour asked me what my birthday plans were, I mumbled and grumbled about what I was doing and his reply?

"Well, at least it's better than going home alone to sit with your cat."

That actually made me laugh out loud.    Although, I'm not sure he's right, it did help me snap out of my funk.  It helped aid the return of my good humour and as of today, I've officially left funky town.

33:30

That how long it took me to run 5k with my running group before I sprained my ankle. It is also how long it took me to run by myself last night!!! (yes this I worthy of celebration because usually I'm sooooo slow on my own) I think I run better injured...

8 days

..that's all I'm saying....

(be thankful I stopped counting down from January 1st)